[Disclaimer] It's been so long since I've blogged. It's not that I haven't written. I just haven't blogged. I guess I felt like I needed to get some things out, and they were just far to emotional and meaningful and person for me to blog about. I miss my blog. I miss feeling like my writing had purpose and I had something worth while to say.
[And now on to the real stuff]
There are so many people in the world. Why is it so easy to feel alone? Even in a city you know like the back of your hand...it's so easy to feel lost. I don't understand. I don't think I've ever felt so alone, or so lost in my entire life. I have people who love me, and would go to the end of the earth to help me...but I feel so lonely.
Sometimes, I think there is only one person you really need. Sometimes there is only one person you feel can help you make it through...or one person you WANT to listen. What do you do when that one person just doesn't care? How do you heal that emptiness? There comes a point in every situation, where it's do or die. Sometimes your just so exhuasted you need someone else to carry the load. Can you hear me? I need you to just take a little weight off my back...can you help me? Are you out there? What do you do when there's no answer? Do you drive on? Do you hold onto hope and faith, and know that at some point they will see you struggling and it will hit them?
I feel alone. I feel like no one can possibly understand what I am feeling, and no body has tried. I feel like the more I struggle with my emotions and my questions, the further I become from the people who mean the most to me. Can you care too much? Do you sometimes sacrifice your own well being, by caring far too much? I have always been a caring person. It hurts my heart to see others struggle, and unhappy. I know I would gladly be miserable to make the ones I love happy. But can a person really live like that? Can you really invest all of your car into others, and compromise yourself?
I think sometimes we want to get through to people who just aren't willing. They don't want to see the truth. They are so focused on seeing hate and anger, that they refuse to see love and care. It's so frustrating to want someone to understand something so bad, that you want to PHYSICALLY SHAKE THEM into reality.
I wish I had the answers. I wish I could get through to you. I wish I didn't constantly feel so alone.
Until next time...