He laughes. I Cry.

Yesterday, I spent the entire day singing, "Happy Half Birthday To You" to my son. He spent the day laughing at me. It was rather enjoyable, and light-hearted. So there you have it, my baby boy is officially one half of a year old! I can hardly believe how the time has flown! In real time, my baby is only supposed to be four months old, but in our time, *since he came 7 weeks early* he is a whole six months!

These past six months have been full of trial and tribulation, triumph and failure. But mostly, they have been full of the best memories I could ever imagine. Of course, my husband being here, would have made them better, but we deal with what we are delt. I have watched Baby J grow from a tiny 4 pound peanut in the nicu, into what I like to call my baby bear! He has filled my grueling months of longing and sadness (due to deployment) with joy and fun. His smile lights up my day, and his laugh lightens my load.
Of course, there are times when I'm exhausted, and strained. Times when I want nothing more then a drink, and a night out. Nights, when I want nothing more then sleep, and days when I want nothing more then silence, however, I would not trade those late nights rocking him to sleep, or those long days of whining, for the world. The past six months have taught me to cherish every moment. (Hence those words being tattooed to my foot!) I know, in no time at all, he will be too big to rock, to old to want mommy, and to grown to need me. But for the time being, I'm latching onto ever second of him being little.

As you can see, yesterday was bitter sweet for me. I celebrated the six months I have had. I celebrated his growth, his progress, and his achievements. I mourned the days when my husband was here to help, the days my husband held him, and hell...the days my husband was here to hold me. But today, I'm looking forward. Forward to my baby turning into a little boy, forward to the memories that are yet to come, and forward to the days my husband will be here to enjoy this journey we have created.

Emotional old me, got to thinking last night. What if? What if my husband doesn't make it back? What if we loose our hero? What if he never gets to celebrate this journey with us? I cried. I needed a good cry. It's been quite some time. I have held myself together, refused tears, refused the what ifs? I need it. It was like a release of so many things. So in the dark, alone, I cried. And after words, I pulled myself together. I picked up our baby boy, and I laughed. Do I sound crazy yet? I laughed, because he was laughing. I laughed because he put his hand on my face as if to embrace me. I laughed for my husband. I laughed. I found confidence, I found pride, and I found hope. My husband IS coming home to us. He IS going to enjoy this journey. He IS going to be here until we are old and gray! Why? Because I said so. Because I have faith in him. Because I have faith in God. Because I know he is supposed to be here. Because I know our story does not end just yet. I know that we have more things to endure, more memories to make, more time. I'm holding my head high today. I'm keeping that faith in my back pocket. I refuse to acknowledge the what if's.

There are times in life when we learn very valuable lessons. Today I learned. Maybe, I have always know, but today it made itself ever so clear. Maybe I can thank this deployment. Maybe I can thank my emotions, maybe I can thank no body but my self, however, today's lesson was worth learning....

My husband and I have been together for seven years. Seven. We're in our early twenties. Not many people under the age of 23, can say they have been with their soul mate for seven years. I'm grateful for this. I think sometimes in our day to day lives, we forget to be thankful. Today I am thankful. Thankful for the life my husband has provided us. Thankful for love. Thankful for family. Thankful for being thankful. Sometimes we need to stop the hecticness, and just be grateful.
While passing a church sign, I noticed a quote the other night. It truly spoke to me...
"You are not rich in life, until you have the things, money cannot buy."
I'm rich! I'm stinkin' RICH! I never thought I would say it..but I AM!

I have an amazing husband, who puts his life on the line. Not for a paycheck, not for health care, not because he couln't find a job. My husband chose the army, long before he graduated high school. He longed for it. It was all he ever wanted. I'm thankful for the person my husband is, the job he does, and the way he makes me feel.
I have a full of life, happy -go- lucky little boy. He is healthy, he is growing, and he is amazing.
I have a wonderful family. A mother who would stop at nothing to make her children happy.
I have love. I have faith. I have hope. I have things others only dream of.
I am rich.

So today, I leave you with this....
No matter what is going on, how crazy your day becomes, or how stressed out you may be. Be thankful. Be thankful for the things that money cannot buy, and the people you could never replace. All of your troubles will be there when you wake up...I promise, they are going nowhere. Today, laugh. Hold your children. Call your mother. Celebrate the things we have been given, and the times we have had. Embrace the memories that are yet to come, forget about the bills. Don't let anything bring you down. Because, I bet, you too are rich!


AA <3

Partys Over

So my pity party has ended. Actually it ended the afternoon it began, but that's beside the point. I have gotten to talk to my husband a couple times via Yahoo Messenger, and this morning I even got to hear his voice!


Yesterday, Hubby and I had a most enjoyable conversation about the future. In previous convos, he had seemed a little down...and there's nothing I hate more then that! But yesterday I found hope and aspiration in his words. He spoke of wanting to go to Ranger School, and getting a sleeve tattooed. *So hot, if you ask me!*                                   
Most my life, I have settled. Settled for C's. Settled for simple dinner fixes. Settled for content instead of happy. I'm tired of settling. Before my husband left, I had SETTLED on going to hair school when he returned. Do I love hair? Yes. Do I want to do it for the rest of my life? No. But it would be quick, and it would bring home a paycheck. I do like quick. I could settle on easy. But why settle? Why not do something I've dreamed of doing? Why not work hard, and be something I can be proud of?
I'm over settling. I'm done choosing easy. And I'm done thinking I won't be good enough. So there you have it, in January, I plan to take pre req's online, and when my husband returns from this deployment, I will push myself. I will go to school. I will make it. I will do something enjoyable with my life.



In other news, my husbands computer was acting up and so he mailed it home to his brother to be fixed. Thank you USPS, for completly terrorizing the box. My husbands computer screen is now trashed. My smart husband did purchase $1,500 worth of insurance on the thing, so hopefully tomorrow when I bring it to the post office to make an insurance claim, they do something about it.


Today I dug out my external so all of his pictures and videos from deployment can be put on there, and I am rather excited about seeing these pictures and videos. Any glimpse I can get of where he is, or more importantly, HIM, is like a million dollars at this point. I cannot describe how much I miss that man...there just aren't words for that. So needless to say, I'm over the moon excited his computer took a shit, and these pictures and videos will now be available for my enjoyment. I am NOT however over the moon that the post office trashed the computer on the way here and it is now nonfunctional completely.

Other then that, not much is new on the home front. My baby boy will be six months old tomorrow, and I can hardly believe it. It's his half birthday..six months since that day? Six months worth of growing and learning as a first time mom. I get sad just thinking about how I will never have those first six months back. They have been the most enjoyable, and rewarding six months of my life, and I honestly feel like nothing I do will ever be as important as this. My son is my whole world. Between him and my husband, I have everything I could ever dream of. They are my happy place. So baby boy, happy half birthday tomorrow. You are forever my baby.
I cannot wait to experience the next 6 months, and all the years to follow.

I'll leave you all with that. And promise to update again soon. If not for your reading enjoyment, then to keep my sanity! Hope everyone has a good week, and don't forget to tune into Sons of Anarchy tonight! It's sure to be amazing! <3



--Double A <3

Pity Party- Open Invite!

That's Right! I'm throwing a pity party, and you're all invited!

Last night, I went to sleep to the sound of a peaceful, calm, constant rain. It was almost beautiful. And if you know me, I'm not one to enjoy rain, or storms for that matter. In fact, thunderstorms scare my pretty little panties off. But this was a different kind of rain. It was diligent and soothing. It relaxed me beyond belief. I slept. I mean, really slept. Insomnia has taken over my life since the beginning of this deployment, and I've had very few nights of "real" sleep. But last night, that almost beautiful rain put me to sleep. * Okay, I'll be honest, I'm not one hundred percent convinced it was the rain..It could have been the lack of sleep I have had, the exhausting two weeks, or even the fact that I was just plain worn out.. But, I'd like to think it was the rain!

After awakening to the sound of my son babbling in his crib, I felt refreshed....for a second. Until I opened up the blinds and saw my surroundings. The sky was gloomy and dark. The rain was violent and harsh, and the wind was mind blowing. Gross. The flowers look dead, and the grass appears muddy. Thank you rain, for allowing me to love you for a whole night, before you ruined my day.

So with the let down of the rain, I got the boy up, turned on the radio, and fed him some breakfast. Every single song that played was a downer.
I'm talking...real downer.
Brian McKnight- Whenever you call... Thank you for reminding me I have not heard my husbands voice, and it will be days again, before I do.
Aerosmith- I don't want to miss a thing...Thank you for making me think about all of the things my husband is missing while on this long, stupid, deployment!
Lady Antebellum- Need you now...Thank you for pointing out just how much I could really use my husband right now.
Yep. That's right..Three in a row. True downers...And so, my pity party began.

My husband is deployed, my son is teething and hates the world, the rain is ugly and torturous, I still have to deal with a smashed up car, and my knee hurts like a mother effer. That's right.. I said it.. A MOTHER EFFER!

Any who, I continue on with my motherly duties. Get the boy burped, and dressed, and set him on his play mat with some toys. Pick up his cereal bottle, and bowl and head to the kitchen. Just to find that pile of bottles and bowls and spoons I so carelessly left in the sink last night because I was just so in love with the pitter-patter of the rain, and all I wanted to do was lay on the couch and look out the window at this ALMOST beautiful sight. So, now to tackle this stinkin' pile. I absolutely hate bowls of crusted mess. And what did I do in my euphoria of giddiness about the rain? Left my sons dinner cereal leftovers in his bowl and stacked it in the sink. SOMEONE decided to run some water in that bowl, and that cereal was now a hot crusted mess of gush on every single dish. LOVE MY LIFE at this point! So I get through with that, and head back into the living room and look at that dreaded over-flowing laundry basket of baby clothes that need to be washed. Now, usually laundry is my favorite household chore, but good god, when you have to walk three flights of stairs to get to the washer and dryer, that someone else in the building usually has left their laundry sitting in for at least eight hours..I HATE LAUNDRY. Oh how I miss my pretty little apartment where the laundry was quietly tucked away in a closet two steps from my living room. So you think I tackled that laundry basket? NOPE! I let it sit. I stared at it for a few minutes, and thought about how badly I need to conquer it, I considered the fact that there were only two cars in the parking lot, and hopefully no ones laundry would be down there..but I left it there..over flowing onto the floor, looking hideous. Oh well! Today is MY pity party, and I'm not doing anything I don't want to do.

Any who, the night before last, I went to the gym. I worked my ass off...I mean really...WORKED MY ASS OFF. I'm talking a "level 4 on the bike, level 5 on the elliptical" kind of worked my ass off. Not to mention I did floor work! I killed my abs, and my hips. Literally, I think their still laying there in Lifetime! I've never been one for much of a floor work out, but the personal trainers were up there doing some demonstrations, and I caught on. Planks, elevated ab twists, squats with weights on these balancing things. Oh lord, did I ever push myself. I left out feeling pretty damn good about myself. I never once told myself I couldn't do it, and I never quit before finishing the goal I had set... well okay, once I actually did. I was doing that exercise where you get down in the push up position and alternate bringing your legs up..ya know the ones..where it looks like your running on the ground? Anyways, I would do that for a minute, then switch to bicycle, then back. Well shit! After one round of these my knee was in dyer pain. I fell out- Like a private on their first road march after drinking too many beers the night before! I was done. My knee hated me! So I cooled down, and then headed home. My knee was still sore after a long hot bath, but I figured it would be fine.
Woke up yesterday, got up to get the baby...NO GO! My knee killed. I mean KILLED. I brushed it off, and figured it would be better today. Nope, woke up today...Probably ten times worse. I'm so disgusted with today. If it's not one thing, it is constantly another.

Regardless of today's pity party, I have decided to stay motivated about the gym, and life in general..After I'm done sulking today of course! Tonight is Sons of Anarchy, so I will be skipping the gym. And to be honest, if it wasn't SOA night, I'd probably skip anyways, because I'm busy sulking! But tomorrow, I'm hitting that gym just as hard as I did on Sunday. Minus the floor running, and the bicycle, because I don't feel like having a bad knee for the rest of my life. I'm also on the prowl for a good home work out, for the days when my mom can't watch the baby while I hit the gym, or SOA nights, or nights when it's grossly raining like it is today. I've decided to kick my own ass, every single week, until I look exactly how I want to. I'm so tired of being disgusted with how I look, and being envious of the skinny pretty girls, who care wear sweat pants and rags and look beautiful.
So my diet has began, and so far, so good. I worked my ass off at the gym- YES! And I'm looking for a home workout routine.- FANTASTIC!
Let's hope I can stick with this, and kick this weight. I'm staying positive -about THIS at least!

Now, I guess I should stop sulking, end my pity party, and do that damn laundry!
John Michael Montgomry- I can love you like that, just came on. And It's a nice contrast from all the downers I've been listening to all morning..
So on that note, I'm off to perk up, get things done, and play with the most handsome, energetic little boy in the whole wide world! After all, his smile is simply contagious, and I could sure use a nice smile right about now!

Check back later, and find out if this pity party has really ended, of if I'm just fooling myself.
Oh, and I hope you don't have this nasty ugly rain and wind in your neck of the woods.

<3 AA

Personal, Pathetic, and Patient...

So lately I've had all kinds of things going on and I wish to share them with all of  the people reading this. Or basically just my computer screen, in case no one ends up reading this!

I'll start with a follow up from the last few things I've wrote about.

1. Similac is still not selling the powder form of my sons formula, so we have resorted to buying the liquid concentrate, which is more expensive. It's a bummer, but what can ya do? Hopefully they will get their act together soon and produce some bug free powder for us moms on a budget to purchase!
On the brighter side, my son is back to sleeping like a peaceful baby, hasn't been spitting up, and is happy as can be! On the downside, we haven't had any world war III diaper explosions, or even poop for that matter in two days, and I'm starting to worry! It's the days when your infant is constipated that you really wish he would have those diaper explosions!

2. All State, the insurance of the old folks who hit my parked car, has contacted me! They have accepted full responsibility (as they should, since I was not in my vehicle and it was parked in a parking lot) and they are going to cover full costs of the damage to my car. So I took my car into their offices, had the damage evaluated and will be taking it to a shop later this week to be fixed! WOOHOO on that!

3. We have been doing compression wraps on J's "strawberry" mark on his arm. It actually puts me at ease. I don't have to worry about his scratching at it or pulling on it and it bleeding profusely! The resident in the doctors office in Detroit called me and said that the doctor will be contacting the pediatrician this week, and I should find out about when he will be able to start the medication to hopefully get rid of these buggers! :) Makes me happy. Now lets hope I hear from him! Speaking of these marks I am reminded of a funny story, that I will throw in here for kicks and giggles!
About a month and a half ago I had to have emergency surgery to have my gallbladder removed, and was in the hospital for a week! While in the hospital, my mom was taking care of my son, working two jobs and trying to visit and comfort me. Two of the nights my mom had to work at night and took J to my cousins house to be watched. My cousin has a 4 year old son. J and my cousin were in the living room, and her son was in the kitchen. He said to his mom, COVER HIS DOT! The poor little boy refused to come around J until the "dot" was covered! He was terrified of this dot! It was absolutly adorable. It is now a standing joke at family functions, that the "DOT" must be hidden.


Now onto new news...
Lately I have been having some thoughts about my father. My parents divorced when I was three. I recall a time when I was little that my father was angry and threw a picture frame across the room, at what I recall to be my mother. Unfortunately this picture frame broke all over the place right in front of me. My father moved hours away, into the upper peninsula of Michigan, and my mother, my sister and I moved in with my Grandma and Papa. My dad would occasionally come and take us for the weekend. And by occasionally, I mean, when it was convenient for him, when he felt like it, when he wasn't too busy. My mom remarried when I was 6 (and had a son when I was 7) , and my father dated an old fling for a majority of my childhood. My sister was born with quite a few health problems. There is a white coating around everyone's brain and part of hers is missing, she has a form of Cerebral Palsy, she had cataracts and cornea scars (if I recall correctly), and she also has a heart murmur. I found out later in life, the doctors told my mother some issues could have been a result of my fathers physical abuse during my mothers pregnancy. (He sat on her while she was pregnant, among other things...) Most of my life, I grew up terribly jealous of my sister, because she was always the center of attention. Most of my life my dad favored my sister greatly. I now realize it is probably because he feels guilty for the issues he has caused. But does that make it okay? Anyways, when I was about 10 years old I recall my dad saying he wanted to pick JUST ME up for a weekend up north with him! I was over the moon. My father rarely visited by this time in my life, and I secretly hated it. I was sad I had no "real" father, and felt like he just didn't care. I jumped out of our pool, packed my bags immediately and waited on the couch by the front door. Mind you, he lives 3 hours away. I didn't care how long I would be sitting on that couch, I was too excited! About five hours later..still on that couch..refused dinner, refused tv, just wanted to wait..My father called and stated he had to work and would not be coming. I was heart broken..YET AGAIN. I was traumatized. I waited all day for that man. And he acted so nonchalant about the whole situation! I think it was that point in my life when I really gave up on him. The older I got, the more stories I had heard of not just the past but the present. My father was well off. He owned his own successful business, drove new cars, was adding onto his house, ect. Yet he rarely payed child support, and lied about his finanaces in order to pay as little as possible. My father was a scammer. He was wanted by the GVT. for taxes he hadn't payed down state, and he lied about how much money he made. I started to hate this man more and more every single day. Who was he? Who was he to think his children were of a convenience to him? And why did he have the right to never buy school clothes, pay doctors bills, or even CHILD SUPPORT! It was not just my mother and her family who disliked him.. It was his family too. This man was as fake as babrie in my eyes. At some time around 12 I completely stopped wanting anything to do with him. I refused Christmas cards, and I defiantly refused his CONVENIENT visits, once every three months or when he found time. At some point around the age of 16 my father called me and tried to "discipline" me over the phone. Telling me I was to young for a boyfriend, and I had better not be having sex, and I had better be getting good grades. It was just the cherry on top. I was over him. Good riddens!

Recently, I find myself angry. I'm angry at this man...so angry! My husband tried to do the right thing by asking this NON EXISTENT FATHER OF MINE, for my hand in marriage, he said he didn't really care. My half-sister has two children now. Both of which he acknowledges far more then he ever acknowledged me. My father and I have not been on speaking terms for a very long time. But I now have an (almost) six month old son of my own. My father never once picked up a phone, wrote a letter, sent a card! He never once acted like he had a grandchild in this world that he could possibly congratulate his youngest child on! I get it, we don't speak, we haven't spoken, we don't communicate. But in my heart, there are certain things that "father" do, no matter what! My son was 7 weeks premature, and spent 23 days in the NICU. He was well aware of all of this. Did he care enough to pick up the phone and say "Congrats! How is he?" I didn't expect a call. But I expected something. A card? A baloon? For god sakes, an email! I got nothing. Not a thing. Not a word. Like I didn't exist and this baby was never born. At what point does a father stop caring about the past, and start being a man, and start trying to fix the future? I have the urge to write my father. I would like to enclose a couple pictures of my son, and simply state that at some point it would have been nice if he acknowledged my son. I'm not asking for him to come around, or be in either of our lives..I just wanted a congratulations, a how are you..a how is he? I want to let him know that I have the most beautiful, full of life little boy in the whole wide world, and it's a shame he is missing out! Am I wrong for that? After all, he is darlingly close with my two sisters.

Any who, to end my rant on that...
My husband told me he sent me a box! I'm over the moon ecstatic!
I cannot wait to recieve it! I am a BIG sucker for surprises, and he keeps telling me I'm going to love it!
Boy, that man sure does know how to excite a girl. I'm soo super impatient though! Hurry up USPS, I wanna rip that box open! I watch for the mail lady every single day in anticipation of that box! Infact, a couple days ago, she came into the building with a box, and I rushed down the stairs and said is THAT for appartment 6?! She replied with "Uhh....no mam..it's for apartment 2." I was bummed. I dragged my sorry self back up the stairs and closed my door rather hard, as if it was her fault or something! haha.

In conclusion, the last 2 weeks have been a rollar coaster, and I'm holding on for the ride!
Tomorrow is Sons of Anarchy, so I pretty much plot my day around that!
Keep reading...if not...
Well, I'll keep typing to cyber space, and fooling myself into thinking someones reading!


Heres hoping for a better week!
<3 AA

Bored enough to do this....

That's right! I'm bored enough to do another one of these exciting little things!

I'm not sure who I swooped this up from..but if it was you..
Thank you for curing me...(for just a few minutes) of pure boredness. (Yes, I'm aware that is no real word.)


1. What is your favorite no-frills meal?
Grilled Chicken! Throw it on the Georgy Forman (as I like to call it). Cook it up 8 minutes..and serve it with.. well just about anything...On a salad, with a soup, with a veggie, or all alone!

2. What is your favorite picture? Post it!
I have far to many favorites. However, I will pick just a couple..

3. Do you prefer flip flops, boots, sneakers or heels?
Flip flops please. I would wear them all year round if I didn't get such funny looks when I do! :p
I love flip flops. Their comfortable, and convenient. 

4. Where is your favorite place to vacation?
I've never really been on a real vacation! I would love to see the country. The whole country. My tops picks of places to go would have to be...
1. New York
2. California
3. Chicago
4. Florida
5.  NEW ORLEANS... Actually this is probably more twords the top of the list.
And if we're talking about out of the country...
1. Italy
2. Mexico
3. Ireland

5. Do you sleep on your back, side or stomach?
Well, usually my side. But sometimes my back..Most of the time, I'm all over the place!

6. Do you own any television series box sets.
I have the first two seasons of Sons of Anarchy...

7. Do you have any hidden talents?
Nope. No special hidden talents here.

8. Who is your best friend?
My husband of course, and Andrea (my "bff" from high school). Also my mom. Since I moved away, got married and had a baby, my mom and I have gotten so much closer. We do butt heads sometimes now that J and I are living in her two bedroom apartment with my brother and her, but we're still extremely close, and I think the distance did us wonders for our relationship!
I do have to say, that my "Bff" in Clarksville is Nadine. She's been a great friend, and we've stayed close through this deployment!
ANDDDD as if that wasn't enough BFFS
I love Fawn to death. She is now in Cali, however she used to be at Fort Campbell with us. She is a great person, and we still stay connected even though they are out of the army and so far away! When my husband returns from deployment, we look forward to a trip *with Jax in tow* to Cali to visit them! I miss them and baby frank (who isn't even a baby anymore, but the name stuck!) ohhhh soo much! <3

1. What is your favorite sport? What's your favorite team in that sport?
I love watching and attending hockey games with my husband! WOOHOO RED WINGS!


2. What's your favorite color to wear?
Black. Black. and Black.

3. What do you spend most of your free time doing?
Hi, my name is alyssa, and I'm a facebook addict. Especially since my husband is gone. I spend most of my free time on Facebook, or blogging, or reading! That is when I'm not busy shopping and spoiling my son!

4. If you could spend one hour with one person - past or present - who would it be and why?
Right about now, my husband. It seems like he has been gone soooooo long, when in reality it has only been four months!
If I can't pick him, then it'd be my uncle. He passed away unexpectidly, and I'd like to spend an hour with him, introducing him to my son. (whose middle name is David, after my uncle!)

5. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you "grew up?"
A nurse. I still would love to be. If school wasn't so expensive and took so long. And I could get over my fear of BLOOD!

6. What is one place that you've always wanted to visit but haven't been able to yet?
*See Above. I have given an extensive list! haha.

7. Name one movie you could watch over and over and over again and never get tired of.
The Ladies Man. HA- LARIOUS!

Well, I'm off now. My laptop battery is flashing, and it's going to die at any time.
Is there anyone out there?
IF SO... Check back later. 




<3 AA

Terrible, Horrible, Rediculous!

As if my husband being in a war zone, and my son teething wasn't enough?
 Well...Where to begin?

I'll start with yesterday. My son has three Hemangiomas. One on his arm, one on his neck, and one on his scalp. The one on his neck, and the one on his scalp are rather un-noticeable. However, the one on his arm, is ever present. They are not harmful, nor do they affect his health. Thank goodness! So yesterday my son and I were off to the second dermatologist we were referred to, to find out about possible treatments. All was well, except they just referred us to another dermatologist, after telling me about ten different things that could be wrong, or come from these marks. Supposedly this next doctor is the only one in the state specializing in these marks. Who, of course, does not accept my insurance. However, I was told to pay out of pocket, because it was "well worth it", for him to be seen by this doctor. Okay.. so we leave there, go home, feed J, off to the post office, mail daddy a box. Now on to my doctors appointment. My appointment was at 3 pm . After arriving at 2:30, I am called into the office at 3:30. At 3:45, (still not seen by the doctor) a nurse comes in and asks if my car has TN plates. I say yes, she says, well in that case, an elderly man just smashed your car in the parking lot, leave your baby here, I'll watch him, go check it out. So I go down the 3 flights of steps to find a man atleast 75 years old. He says, "Oh little lady, my foot just slipped off the brake and onto the gas pedal." I look at my car, and just sob. My eyes fill with  tears, and all I can think about is how much my husband loves his car. So they say, finish your appointment and we will follow you to the police station to file a report. They come upstairs with me, give me all their information and respectively wait in the waiting room. I finish my appointment, and then follow these folks to the police station. The drive alone took forty five minutes due to traffic.. WONDERFUL.

I get a message on my phone from my husband. I let him know what happens, he's not upset. Thank goodness. I was so worried, he was going to be pissed off!
So then we get home, and my poor baby is just screaming. I mean hysterically screaming....Kicking his legs and all.  This continues on and off all night. My son has been teething for about a week now. He's been chewing on his hand and drooling like crazy! So I chalk it up to just teething discomfort.
This morning I call this "SPECIAL DOCTOR". I get his scheduling office. They take all of my information and say oh, you're in luck, his next available appointment isn't until the end of October, but someone JUST canceled, can you be there in an hour?  Okay, where it located? DETROIT! That will take me 45 minutes. So I rush, get the baby together, load up the car, set the GPS, and I'm off. We make it just in time.. Or so I think. Park the car in the parking garage. I was told the doctor is located on the 8th floor of Henry Ford Hospital. So Get Jax into his stroller and up the elevator to the 8th floor... Just to see a sign that says, "Dr. Shwayder's office has been moved to the 8th floor of the New City Center across the street." Ohhhh GREAT! So down the elevator, out the door, and across the busiest street in Detroit with a baby stroller, a screaming baby, a diaper bag, a folder with doctors papers, and a ringing phone. Are you kidding? Wasn't this enough stress? So we get there. We wait..and we wait.. Finally, they call us in. The nurse asks me ten questions then says she will be back with a baby gown for him to change into. Not even two seconds later Jaxson spits up all down the front of himself, and me. WONDERFUL. Forty-five minutes go by..I'm getting more and more impatient. I go to the desk, I ask the lady if they forgot about us...she says Oh no mam, actually the appointment was already booked, but not updated with his scheduling office, so he is double booked, he should be right in...Mmmhmm..GREAT! So another 20 minutes and finally a resident doctor comes in. Asks me the same ten questions, then says the Dr will be in shortly...As if I believed that at this point. Ten minutes later, FINALLY! A doctor, the resident, and two students. Just what I need. 5 adults and a baby in a room the size of my closet. The doctor goes over all the possible treatments, some basic information about the marks, and shows me on his computer the progress that has been made in recent studies about these marks. The pictures are overly convincing and give me hopes that these will be gone and done with before we know it!
He decides beta blocker medication (which has had amazing results, with little to no risk) will be the best option for little Jaxson. He tells me he would like me to come back once a month for the next year. Yeah okay, at the rate of 270$ a visit, OUT OF POCKET! I explain he doesn't accept my insurance, and I'm not sure we can afford such a thing. He tells me he will contact Jaxsons pedi, and see how he feels about following up with the treatment, and only coming back in six months to see him. That sounds much more reasonable to me. He then tells me pressure wraps will also help to reduce the puffiness of the mark on his arm. So he shows me how to wrap his arm, and tells me to keep him wrapped 24/7, and only undo these wraps for baths. Okay! So that's great news. His hemangioms are not growing on the inside, and their simply common birthmarks. I'm ecstatic. I finally get a sigh of relief. Pay my dues(which were outrageous!), and out the door we go..Cross the street. Get to my car.
Pull out into the lovely streets of Detroit. My mom calls me. I cant get to my phone and people are crossing the street left and right. Finally I get to my phone. Four missed calls. She calls again, I pick up.

She then tells me Similac, has recalled a whole bunch of formula, and to check Jaxsons when we get home.. OH GREAT. My baby is now screaming, he's hungry. I turn on my GPS, hit the home button and it tells me... "turn right, enter lodge on right" Oh okay. Onto the lodge I get, I look around, looks like im going out of the city. WTF? So I look at my gps. It tells me to continue 52 miles to the Ohio turnpike. LOVELY. My gps is set for TN as home, and not my moms house. So I change the address. "exit first exit on right." Oh okay, well if MI didn't have construction cones up for the next 15 miles, (WITH NO ONE WORKING...) then I could of. However, I had to drive 15 miles twords Ohio before being able to get off the expressway. Now..my gas warning comes on. Great. In Detroit. No gas. Pull over. Get gas. Back in my car. Back on the expressway. Get about 20 miles, (so basically where I started) Just to be in dead stopped traffic with a screaming, hungry baby.

Finally after an hour and ten minutes in traffic, we get home. I check my sons formula. YEP RECALLED. For what you may ask? BEETLE AND BEETLE LARVA CONTAMINATION! So for the last week, I have been feeding my poor son, formula with a side of beetle contamination. GREAT. I cry some more. Because what the hell else could go wrong? So I call his pediatricians after hours answering service, and they tell me Dr. V will call me back. Calls back immediately. ( I love his pedi, he's wonderful) I explain what has happened, and he reassures me everything will be fine, and I don't need to rush my son to the ER like I was prepared to do. He tells me I must however toss every single bottle, bowl, spoon, formula container, travel case. ANYTHING that came into contact with his formula had to be replaced, and that I should bring him into the office tomorrow. So with a screaming, hungry, baby with a tummy ache, I'm off to babies r us! Where swarms of mom are scowering the bottle isle, and the formula isle. Similac has pulled all of their powder, so you can only buy liquid concentrate (because their liquid was not affected), which we all know is twice as expensive as the powder. Oh well, I suck it up. Get Jax new bottles, formula, spoons, bowls and formula travel case. 120 some dollars later, we're out the door. And I'm positive every person in the store was glad to see me and my screaming son go. I get home, scrub a new bottle, and feed my poor boy. And a smile I have not seen in three days plants itself on his face. WHEW! I'm so relieved to see that! My poor baby is now swinging away and content as can be...Thank goodness. I can't even imagine what tomorrow has in store for me!
All in all, my sons marks are harmless, the specialist was wonderful...(and well worth it I have to admit), and we've got new "un-tainted" formula... So, here's hoping everyone out there has had a better two days then me, and that tomorrow is much less hectic and traumatizing...

<3
AA

Me and You

I stumbled upon this pretty little survey and decided to fill it out. This is all about My Lovie and I. <3

1. What are your middle names?

Noelle and Marcus

2. How long have you been together?

Seven years, Married for two in December.

3. How long did you know each other before you started dating?

A few months! We were best friends before we dated.

4. Who asked who out?

My husband asked me to "be his girlfriend" three times. And I said no way.
I was terrified. We were young, and I was not about to fall in love.
But eventually, I couldn't help but fall for him.
And here we are seven years, one wedding, one baby, later.
And I wouldn't change it for the world.

5. How old are each of you?

He is 22 and I will be 21 in December.

6. Did you go to the same school?

Same High School.

7. Are you from the same home town?

Sure are!

8. Who is the smartest?

We're both smart about different things.
He's smart about his job, and he's book smart.
I'm more in the moment, solve the problem kind of smart.

9. Who majored in what?

Neither of us went to college.
My husband is an awesome Soldier.
And I am majoring in mother and wife.
Eventually both of us would like to do the college thing.

10. Who is the most sensitive?

Me. By far. Without a doubt.

11. Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?

We traveled home from Georgia together, when he graduated AIT.
And we travel between TN and MI all the time.

12. Who has the worst temper?

We're both pretty hot headed.

13. How many children do you want?

I would love to have four babies, while my husband wants two.I always tell him we can compromise for three, and I'll hope for twins! ;) haha.

14. Who does the cooking?

I do a majority of the cooking. But my husband doesn't mind helping out sometimes.

15. Who is more social?

My husband. By far. He can make friends with anyone.
I'm more laid back and kept to myself.
But once you get to know me, I'm very outgoing.
I guess you could say, he makes friends easier then I do..
And I'm more comfortable around people I know.

16. Who is the neat freak?

We both have our days. My husband is the type to come home, take off his uniform and throw it on the floor, and he will let it lay untill...well.. untill I pick it up, or he needs to wear it.
But then he has days where he turns on the radio and cleans his mind out.
I don't mind a little messy..because it's messy in my own way.. I like my things where I know where they are. So while my closet may be a pile, I know exactly where the shirt I'm looking for -is... in that pile. If that makes any sense.

17. Who is the most stubborn?

We're both pretty stubborn, but I think my husband might take the cake on this one.

18. Who wakes up earlier?

During the week, MY HUSBAND for sure. But weekends.. oh man. He could sleep the day away.I would win this if he wasn't in the army, but his job calls for an early wake up.

19. Where was your first date?

Well we met at my moms house, through a mutual friend.

After that we kind of hung out all over.
I guess our first "REAL" date was homecoming!

20. Who has the bigger family?

I do.

21. Do you get flowers often?

I get them occasionally.

22. How do you spend the holidays?

We usually travel from TN to MI, to be with our families. I'm looking forward to making new family traditions next year, when he is home from deployment and our little family is all together. <3

23. Who is more jealous?

I am. No questions asked.
My husband is much more secure then I am.

24. How long did it take to get serious?

I was serious from the get go.
He came trotting along later on.

25. Who eats more?

My husband can eat and eat and gain no weight.
YEAH JEALOUS MUCH? I sure am!

26. What do you do for a living?

He is a hero, and I'm superwoman.
Really.
He is an army infantryman, and I'm a stay at home mommy and wife.
My duties include, sending packages, changing diapers, paying bills, and staying sane for his return!

27. Who does the laundry?

I do. But he doesn't mind throwing a load in- need be.

28. Who's better with the computer?

My husband, for sure.

29. Who drives when you are together?

He does.
Especially for the road trips.

30. What is your song?
Every Step You Take. Has been since we met.